The Internet – Word-renowned mathematicians Hans Numberman and Franz Calculus participated in a live debate yesterday to try to determine the nature and value of “F”, which has frequently appeared with “A” in what seems to be a mathematical expression. This debate was overshadowed by various major political events and therefore received no major media coverage, but a TotesRealNews reporter attended the debate and transcribed the whole thing. The most heated part, and therefore the most interesting part, is reproduced below:
Numberman: What you seem not to be understanding is that F does not represent a numerical value per se, but a percentile which is sufficient in quantity to be equivalent to F.
Calculus: You are incorrect AF. If it truly was an indicator of relative value, when most people are wholly wrong about something, as is often the case within politics and religion, and in your case mathematics—”
Numberman: That was low AF. Meaning, the vast majority of people would not have stooped to demeaning my mathematical ability. About two percent of people would have engaged in such demeaning behavior, and therefore I propose that F denotes a position in at least the 98th percentile.
Calculus: That was dumb AF. Meaning it was close enough to peak stupidity in order to achieve equivalency with F. If you hadn’t spent your life isolated AF you would know a much higher percentage of people would have gone negative in my situation.
Numberman: This is preposterous. We should simply not acknowledge F in the context of AF as a mathematically valid symbol, as it is contradictory to the preexisting terminology denoting F as an indicator of failure.
Calculus: You are just bitter AF because I am winning the argument.
Numberman: The number of valid points you have made are contained within the null set. If I am bitter AF, which I postulate I am not, then it is because I am more bitter about your alleged victory than the vast majority of people, and that would only be because they are not concerned with this issue. I have certainly not approached peak bitterness, and never would with you, because I do not give AF.
Calculus: A is a constant. You cannot change the value of A!
Numberman: My previous statement stands. If you have a problem with it you can come at me, but you won’t because you are weak AF, meaning you are weaker than the vast majority of people within your demographic, not that you are approaching the most extreme possible level of weakness.
Calculus: Your argument approached the most extreme possible level of weakness, and passed it.
Numberman: You are going to be bloody AF by the time I’m done with you!
After that threat, they fought, and it was lame AF by any definition of the term. They did not get bloody as anything, unless it was something which doesn’t get bloody at all.